The Early Days of Project Management

Read the whole strip here...

...then go print a copy to hang on your cubical wall.

Muppets vs. Monty Python

Here's the "incomparable" Marvin Suggs (Frank Oz) playing "Witch Doctor" on the Muppaphone.



And, for comparison sake, here's Arthur Ewing (Terry Jones) playing "The Bells of St. Mary's" on his musical mice.



Before you worry about plagiarism, the basic premise for this skit pre-dates both The Muppets and Monty Python. (Fun fact: Terry Jones went on to write the screenplay for Jim Henson's Labyrinth. You probably knew that already, but it's such an amazingly cool collaboration that it deserves to be mentioned again.)

We'll Be Weird Together

On the off chance that you're seeing this post via a link from some other blog... I made a new and improved version of the post that you can see here. Sorry to have to redirect you, but I think you'll like the change.

Good Words Year Round

"Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them; for he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the outset..."

-Charles Dickens

 

The Worst Comment I've Seen In a Long While

An actor (who as of this moment remains unnamed) fell during the Monday night performance of the new Spider-Man musical. He was hurt, potentially very seriously. You can read more about it in this New York Times article. 

I think that any sane and decent person is just hoping that this guy recovers. I shouldn't be surprised that there are people online who are neither sane nor decent, and yet the comments section on the above New York Times story still caught me off guard. There are plenty of reasonable comments from people who are concerned about the injured performer and the safety of all of the other actors. But then there's the bitchy folks who seem to take glee in this. They don't want to see the show shut down for safety concerns--they just want to enjoy a juicy story about an epic flop closing while it's still in previews. Yeah, I expected that.

Here's what caught me off guard: The third comment was from Tom from Boston. Here's what he wrote:

"Whee! What a disaster! And all this to bring us the deathless literature of comic books. Good God, what has "culture" deteriorated into?"

Fuck you, Tom from Boston. Fuck you for being so indifferent to the fact that a man is in the hospital tonight. Fuck you for using his pain as an opportunity to show everybody how ever so superior you are. (Golly Gee, where would we be if we didn't have Tom from Boston to tell us how terrible comic books are?) Fuck you, Tom from Boston, fuck you for the sick implication that this accident somehow would have been acceptable if it had been the result of somebody trying to bring us culture (in a form that you consider to be undeteriorated.) Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, a thousand times fuck you for opening your jaw-droppingly shitty post by saying "Whee!"

Tom, if you're reading this, you're no doubt thinking that it's hypocritical of me to complain about your complete lack of decency and online etiquette by telling you to fuck off. (How vulgar of me!) But honestly, is there any more appropriate response?

You have no sense of humanity, Tom from Boston. Fuck you.

Memo to the Earth

To: The Earth
From: The Moon
Re: Lunar Eclipse

So, I hear you're planning on blocking out the sun tonight. That is such a dick move! How would you like it if I blocked the sun's light from reaching you, huh? Not so funny any more, is it?

If I Wrote the Copy for the Gulliver's Travels Trailer

"In a world where Jonathan Swift never wrote the book Gulliver's Travels, a man whose last name happens to be Gulliver goes on an adventure just like the Gulliver in the book. If the book had been written. Which it hasn't been in this world. Otherwise Jack Black would spend the whole movie saying 'This is just like that book we read in high school.'"

It's A Great Day In America... For Puppets

One of the best parts of The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson is the cold openings. Usually Craig speaks directly to the camera--but sometimes he likes to let puppets do the talking for him. (And really, who doesn't?) Craig created unique characters for his animals, but the puppets themselves are all store brought. They're made by a company called Folkmanis, and you can find them online or at your favorite independent toy store.

Here are some of the show's more popular puppets:

• Monkey, Long-Legged
• Crocodile Stage Puppet
• T-Rex Stage Puppet
• Rabbit, Standing White
• Pig, Large

If you like puppets at all, check out the entire line-up. Most commercially available puppets are targeted at kids and don't really work well as puppets. They either lack character or they they don't articulate well. Not so with Folkmanis. These guys are built to be used. They're not all great for performances (or for adult hands), but many are. Even better, some of the puppets are stuffed enough that you can just use them as stuffed animals if you want. (Suck it, Gund!) Recommended: The Jack Russel Terrier and the crazy-floppy Sheepdog.

The Tick vs... Oprah?

Can you tell the difference between talk show host Oprah and super villain Brainchild? Take this quiz to find out!

The Spoiler Alert to End All Spoiler Alerts

In his song "Spoiler Alert," MC Frontalot starts out by spoiling 15 movies. Then he moves on to give away the endings of Hamlet, the Roman Empire, and the 1980s. Spoiler Alert: At the end of the song you will forward it to all of your friends.

XXX OOO

Click through to see the complete (and strangely beautiful) instructions for winning Tic Tac Toe as explained by xkcd.com. My first reaction on seeing it was "My God, it's full of stars!"

Now, if only he could draw a similar chart for winning Global Thermonuclear War...

An Open Letter To Nick Hornby

Dear Nick Hornby,

I think there's been some kind of misunderstanding--I actually said Nick Hornsby (with an S) sucks. He's a douche I work with. He always takes credit for everything even when he was barely involved on the project. I actually really like you Nick Hornby (without an S). You write great novels. You write great lyrics. Even the movie versions of your books are pretty damn cool.

Anyway, sorry for the mix up. And, just to cut off any further confusion, I also enjoy the work of songwriter Bruce Hornsby. So if you're reading this, Bruce, please don't write a song about me.

Sincerely,

Some Guy On The Net