Casting Ready Player One

I just finished Ready Player One. Since the movie rights have already been sold, I thought I'd take a crack at casting it.

Parzival, Art3mis, Aech, Diato, Shoto: Go watch Ratatouille and pay close attention to Patton Oswalt's performance as Remy. Listen to him when talks about food. Hear how much joy and excitement it brings him, how much he wants to share his excitement with the world. Patton (and everybody at Pixar) absolutely nailed what it means to be a geek. That's what a Ready Player One movie needs: 5 young Patton Oswalts. Each of the main gunters needs to be able to convey the knowledge, passion, and dedication that makes somebody a geek.

That being said... I know this is getting off to a bad start, but I honestly have no idea of who to cast the main heroes since they're all supposed to be so young and I just can't think of the right teenaged actors for these parts. (I have faith, however, that you'll be able to help me in the comments section.) There is one young gunter who I have plenty of ideas about...

I-r0k: He's a total poser, so even though he's in high school he'd want his avatar to look stronger, older, more attractive, and cooler than he is in real life. One way to go would be to cast an actor in their 20s who's all of the things i-r0k would want to pretend he is. The very funny Donald Glover springs to mind. But to really establish i-r0k as a poser, I like the idea that he'd make his avatar look like a classic movie star (a contemporary star from our perspective.) i-r0k would want to see himself as somebody like Keanu Reeves or Will Smith. I can easily imagine Parzival and Aech calling him on it, too. ("Who died and made you Neo?") Since the humor would come from the disparity of the famous, action movie veteran getting trash talked and acting like an insecure kid, my final answer is Dwayne Johnson. I know that turns the name "i-r0k" into a terrible joke, but I swear I didn't mean it. I just like him because he's a great comic actor and his massive size would really solidify the character's poser status.

James Halliday: He's lonely, obsessed, sad, world weary, brilliant, and crazy. My first thought was Matt Frewer. He might read a little too old if you want to hold onto 40 as Halliday's base age. Robert Downey Jr. is another good pick, but Wil Wheaton already called dibs on the part, and we have to play by the rules. Sorry Robert. Wil Wheaton is Halliday.

Nolan Sorrento: This needs to be somebody who can be as good as Tilda Swinton was in Michael Clayton. (Her performance in the negotiation scene... holy crap was that good.) On the one hand, Sam Rockwell is perfect for the part. But after Iron Man 2 (it was okay) and Charlie's Angels (ugh) does Sam really want to play this kind of schmucky/evil character again? I thought about Nathan Fillion and Billy Crudup... but I finally landed on William H. Macy. The idea of him playing the, um... transformed version of Sorrento is just funny to me.

Acererak: This is a special effects driven character, so first let's talk about the voice actor. When I played D&D as a kid, I imagined everybody having a British accent. It just felt more regal and medieval that way. There's a lot of great options, but the two actors that leap to mind are Jonathan Pryce and Tim Curry. They've got the vocal chops and, as a bonus, they've got geek cred that would impress the hell out of the gunters (Rocky Horror Picture Show, Legend, Something Wicked This Way Comes, Brazil...) It's close, but I'm going with Jonathan Pryce. Now, about the visuals. Most of the book takes place in a CGI world, but in the spirit of the 80s, I think this creature should be done the old fashioned way--with a life size puppet. Therefore, this one has to go to Brian Henson. I'm a puppet geek, so I could have tried to impress you with other people who's last name isn't Henson... but Brian is the puppeteer behind one of my favorite on screen villains: Audrey II in Little Shop of Horrors.   

The Sixers: Every Sixer in the game has the same avatar. They clearly have to all be played by Nolan North. It's not up for debate.

Ogden Morrow: Unlike Halliday, Ogden let's his true physical age show (which is going to be visually important to show how much time has passed since the 80s), but he still has a playfully energy about him. I'd be surprised if Ernest Cline wasn't visualizing Dr. Meredith in Real Genius when he wrote Ogden's scenes. Personally, I was visualizing Kevin Murphy when I read the book even though he's too young. Anyway, the role calls for somebody with a sparkle in his eye and an anti-authoritarian streak. Martin Mull is a very tempting choice, but I'm going to go with David Ogden Stiers. If you don't recall M*A*S*H as well as I do, you may only remember the gravitas and pompous qualities he gave Charles, but he also fleshed the character out with gleeful, almost boyish notes. If you're not convinced, just forget M*A*S*H and think of his work as Cogsworth in Beauty and the Beast.

Narrator: Yeah, the book doesn't have have an omniscient narrator since it's told from the point of view of its protagonist... but for structural reasons, I keep thinking of the film opening with a modified, almost Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy-esq sequence based on the books "human condition" sequence. So, here's how it adds up: HHG2G + Narration + Atheism = Stephen Fry.

Newscasters: IOI owns a large portion of the media, so the newscasters that pop up throughout the story really have to convey every spooky implication. They're significant in the way the newscasters were in Bob Roberts -- although in this reality, every one of them is like the smiling characters played by Susan Sarandon and James Spader. There aren't going to be any alternative, questioning journalists here. My picks: America Ferrera, James Rebhorn, and Felicia Day.

Max: Matt Frewer! I knew I'd find a part for him!

Life After A Cappella

With the huge number of college a cappella groups out there, it should come as no surprise that some of the alums of these groups should go onto careers in music using (GASP!) instruments. Here's a before and after comparison of four of the best.

Sara Bareilles

Back in College

Before she became the newest judge on The Sing-Off, Sara Bareilles sang in a UCLA's Awaken A Cappella. The collegiate a cappella repertoire is mostly made of cover songs, but that didn't stop Sara and Awaken from singing her original composition "Gravity." The recording was selected to appear on the Best of College A Cappella 2004 compilation.



Life After A Cappella

For her solo career, Sara sat down at a piano, got a band, and recorded a new version of "Gravity." And a little thing called "Love Song." (I think it sold a few copies.) Here she is singing her super catchy "King of Anything" on Craig Ferguson.



Jonathan Coulton

Back In College

Jonathan Coulton sang in the prestigious, if not especially hip, Whiffenpoofs. Here's his solo turn on "Midnight Train to Georgia."



It doesn't begin to hint at the performer he'll grow to be, but it's not bad when you consider how hard it is to be soulful when you're surrounded by men in tuxedos (white tie, no less.)

Life After A Cappella

Jonathan Coulton is a reveared singer-songwriter. Many of the songs are noteworthy for their nerdy sense of humor, but he doesn't write throw-away novelty songs--the songs are built on a very real emotional foundation.

Coulton rise to fame happened while he was doing a project where he'd record and release a song every week for a year. Given his a cappella experience, it makes sense that his homemade tracks would feature great vocal harmonies, but don't forget that he's also a multi-instrumentalist. He played almost all of the parts on the Thing-A-Week songs.



Coulton is currently recording a new studio album -- produced by TMBG's John Flansburgh -- with a full band.

John Legend

Back in College

John Legend used to sing with a pop/jazz group at the University of Pennsylvania called The Counterparts. His solos on songs like Joan Osbourn's "One of Us" and Prince's "Somebody's Somebody" made it clear that he was a talent worth watching. Here's his version of "We Can Work It Out" (in the footprints of Stevie Wonder's cover version.)



Life After A Cappella

How good is this guy? He changed his last name to "Legend" (his real name is John Stephens) and absolutely nobody thinks it was an act of hubris.



Adam Gardner
Back in College

Adam Gardner sang in the Tufts Beelzebubs.



Life After A Cappella

You may know Adam as one of the singers and guitarists of the band Guster. Like the Beelzebubs, Guster was also a founded by Tufts students.



Gabriel Mann

Back in College

Gabriel Mann sang with Off the Beat from the University of Pennsylvania. During this time, he was well regarded for his inventive and extremely influential arrangements. While the Beelzebubs (especially Deke Sharon) are known for having taught college groups how to sing like rock stars, Gabe was credited for introducing an alternative sound to the scene through the use of complex charts and sylables that were more suitable to Pearl Jam covers than than the traditional "Ba," "Da," "Doo," and "Dum" sounds.



Life After A Cappella

Gabriel Mann has released several records as a solo artist. Most recently, he joined the quartet The Rescues.



What Goes Around, Comes Around

The fully instrumented songs by the former collegiate a cappella singers... are now getting covered by a cappella groups. To give you just a taste, here's The Rescue's song "Crazy Ever After" as covered by the Socal Vocals.

It's Not Funny, Part 2

A quick update on Tuesdays post. I predicted Jay Leno would do the wrong thing. I just watched the monologue online. For a moment, I thought I would be proven wrong. Sadly, I was not. Somebody was assaulted, mutilated, and almost killed... but there was a penis joke to be made, so naturally Jay had to make it.

I'll say it again: It's not funny.

It's Not Funny

Today a story broke about a criminal who drugged their victim and tied them up. While the victim was waking up, the attacker took a knife and cut off part of the victim's body and proceeded to mutilate it.

Does that horrify you? Can you imagine how terrified the victim must have felt? Can you see the blood? Can you comprehend the physical pain?

The victim was a man. The criminal was his wife. The body part was his penis.

Is it funny now? If you have a husband, would you laugh and say "I'm going to take a knife and mutilate your body and maybe watch you bleed to death"?

Perhaps you've already heard this story on Facebook or maybe a friend e-mailed you a link. If so, make no mistake--it wasn't because somebody wanted to call your attention to the horrors of the world or to raise awareness for domestic violence. You heard about it because somebody thought it was funny.

Of course, the story doesn't open with a graphic description of the attack. The lead is "Woman Cuts Off Husband's Penis." It's stripped of the graphic truth and boiled down to two ideas:

1. Penis. Ha ha ha.
2. Men aren't always the ideal husbands. Ha ha ha.

There is nothing about this that's funny. But that won't stop the media from treating it like there is. Even when you see this on the evening news and they deliver the story with a straight face, you know they like the story because they simply like talking about titillating things.

And if you stick around after the news, I guarantee you that Jay Leno will be making actual attempts to get laughs from this. I hope he doesn't. I hope he has the common decency to realize that domestic violence, torture, vivisection, and attempted murder aren't funny. Does anybody think he'll do the right thing? Yeah, me neither.

But you can. When you see the e-mail about the assault land in your inbox, don't forward it to your friends like it's a good joke. When you see a link on Facebook, just type the following as your comment: It's not funny.

As mentioned earlier, here's Ben Folds' audience participation recording of Working Day!



Yeah, I really like this song.

How the Internet Was Won

It's official: Lance Cardinal just won at internet. How did he beat all of the competition? He build his own Muppet Show Theater play set and then blogged about it for your pleasure. It's crazy, no doubt... but it's damn impressive. Lance claims that he used real concrete and maple wood, but as far as I can tell from the pictures, it's actually constructed from 100 percent pure awesome. Go to his blog to see all of the amazing pictures. It really is fandom at its finest.

Man, this blows my DIY Muppet merchandise out of the water.

The Perfect Folk Song

Arlo Guthrie makes a very strong case here that this Elvis song is actually a folk song. I'm inclined to agree with him. "I Can't Help Falling In Love With You" is, in my opinion, tied for the title of The Perfect Folk Song. (More on the other song later...) It's so simple and pure that it feels like it belongs to YOU and to everybody at the same time.

It's a great song, a great performance, and a great story. Enjoy.

Real Psychics and Mediums

As a public service, here is a complete list of genuine psychics and mediums:






















All of the others are shameless con artists. If you don't see the name of your psychic or medium on the above list, please be advised that you have been placing your trust in a fraud. You should stop patronizing that faker immediately before they exploit you again.

Thanks, Humanists

I already loved the Molly Lewis song "An Open Letter to Stephen Fry," so I was glad to hear that she would be singing the song in front of the man himself. As I watched the video of the performance, I thought it couldn't possibly get any better. Then the camera pulled back to reveal... an ASL interpreter! Consider the lily gilded.

It's Your Day. A Woman's Day.

It's Not Even Animated

Last night at the Oscars, Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis presented the awards for Best Animated Short and Best Animated Feature. As part of their banter, Mila said the backdrop wasn't right for the segment because, "It's not even animated."

Except it was animated. It wasn't character animation, but it was definitely motion graphics. See for yourself:



It struck me as being a bit of an FU to the team that did all of the animations and graphics on the backdrop and proscenium throughout the evening (which I thought were very well designed.) I was sort of waiting for the show to come back from the commercial with all of the titles and other graphics replaced by a text hastily written on a cue card with a magic marker.

The odd part was, the "It's not even animated" line was there to serve a joke about them changing the backdrop to an animated image from Shrek... which as far as I could tell on my TV wasn't animated at all. Maybe there was a slight breeze rusting the leaves in the trees, but watching at home, the Shrek background looked like a still image.

Anyway... Toy Story 3 for the win! Woo hoo!

You Wanted Arts And Crafts? How's This For Arts And Crafts?

The folks at 360Kid have come up with the perfect use for your old 3D glasses--turn them into Kermit the From Glasses! Follow the link to get instructions and download a handy template.

It's Not A Legend

Dear Producers of Red Riding Hood,

I have no problem with you trying to make a movie for adults based on a fairy tale. That's conceptually interesting. But please stop calling the original story a "legend" in your ads. You keep on using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Sincerely,

-Some Guy On The Net

Stephen Colbert... in Concert!

Specifically, he will be playing the role of Harry in the New York Philharmonic concert version of Stephen Sondheim's Company. If you're a Colbert fan who's not familiar with Company, it's a great show and the part is very well suited to Stephen's voice. His character is the principle singer of a song called "Sorry-Grateful". Here's a clip of the song from the recent -- and wonderful -- Broadway revival (featuring Keith Buterbaugh as Harry):



If you're a fan of Company who's horrified about the funny TV guy trying to sing, here's Stephen Colbert singing a duet with John Legend:



Need more? Here he is singing a duet with Elvis Costello:

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Oh, and in case you didn't know, the concert will star Neil Patrick Harris. Does anybody still need proof he can sing? Really? Okay, fine. Here's Neil showing how damn good he is with Sondheim:

New Kind of Cool

I think this song really nails what it felt like to be in Junior High and to feel... different. (And didn't everybody feel different?) I couldn't find a video for the full studio recording on YouTube, so I fixed that by making this one. I hope it lives up to the glorious geekiness of the song itself.

All of the toys are real. You can find most of them on Amazon. A few of the odder ones are from the Archie McPhee catalogue, Sideshow Collectibles, Reaper, and Valve.


A New Kind of Cool
by The Rescues
Adrianne Gonzalez

I study you so well
I know your every smell
From the back of the room
I can't learn a thing
All I can do
Is stare at you

But my body is all a wreck
An adolescent mess
They call me names
'Cause I can't squeeze in
And don't know how to act
But I will not be ashamed...

If you'd stay with me forever
We'll be weird together
We'll make up our own rules
Create a new kind of cool

We'd walk the halls with ease
Say all the smartest things
And they'd wish they knew
What makes us laugh and
What cigarettes we smoke
Or even if we do 'cause...

If you'd stay with me forever
We'll be weird together
We'll make up our own rules
Create a new kind of cool

We'd never lose
We can pick and choose
Who soaks up all our fame
And we can shout and we could shut them out
Just to tarnish their names

And how I'd glow in my beauty
'Cause someone out there loves me

Right now life ain't so fun
I don't have anyone
If you only knew
The things that we could do
Just me and you
Conquer the world
King and Queen
At age 13

If you'd stay with me forever
We'll be weird together
We'll make up our own rules
Create a new kind of
A new kind of
A new kind of
Cool

Desk Toys (We'd Like to See)

I'm working on a fun little project that involves action figures, mini figs, and other similar toys. I'm finding lots of unusual stuff (thanks, internet!), but there were some characters that I was disappointed to see aren't available as toys. Here's a few characters and properties that ought to be turned into action figures:

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: There were some characters made from the new movie (although, if I'm not mistaken, there was no Trillian.) Nothing against Martin Freeman, but Simon Jones' Arthur Dent was iconic. Ditto on David Dixon's Ford Prefect.

Harriet the Spy: I really enjoyed the book by Louise Fitzhugh when I was a kid. Harriet was a geek and an anti-hero. She'd look good on your desk, but even more importantly, I think she be a good toy for kids. Speaking of kids...


Norville Barnes, Amy Archer, Sidney J. Mussburger, and Waring Hudsucker: You know, for kids.

Zoe Washburne, Kayle Frye, etc...: I found a few maquettes from Firefly, but just for Mal, Jayne, and River. Somebody should put the whole Serenity crew into toy form. Oh, forget that--somebody should have put the whole Serenity crew into a complete season. Or two. Or six.

While we're talking action figures, there was one especially unexpected one I found: Seth Godin. Seriously.

A Note About the Comments Section

I very much welcome and enjoy different and dissenting opinions here, but I also want to avoid letting the comments section become a place where everybody snaps at one another. So...

• If you want to disagree with ME, I will proudly publish your comments. If you want to explain why you disagree with me, I will publish your comments with a smile. Heck, even if you just want to tell me to go screw myself, I will happily publish your comments so long as they don't include language that would offend other readers. (Swear all you want, but please don't use words targeted towards whatever you think my race/religion/gender/sexual orientation is.)
• If you disagree with somebody who commented on a post, that's cool too. There's nothing wrong with saying "You're wrong." (If you can explain why you disagree--that's even better.) 
• However, if you're going to tell insult another user or tell them to shut up, that's another story.

I'm writing this because somebody made a comment days ago to my Toy Story post that didn't get published for a while. I want to assure the commenter that the only reason for the delay was because Blogger had automatically marked the comment as spam. (I think this was only related to the length of the post.) As soon as I noticed it, I published it. I was not holding off because the comment disagreed with me. I'm sorry for the delay.

I noticed another commenter disagreed with that comment and told the person to basically go away if they didn't like what everybody else was saying. In the future, I'm going to try to avoid publishing comments that sound like the start of a fight between readers. (A debate is cool, a fight is not.) I'm publishing this comment because it's the first one of it's kind that I've seen on this blog and because, in comparison to what you see on the comments sections on most sights, it hardly qualifies as a breech of any sort of online etiquette.

I read and genuinely appreciate every comment made on this site, so I want to avoid any situation where somebody would ever regret posting their thoughts here.

Does that sound fair enough? (Please feel free to disagree or even to tell me to go screw myself.)

Sing Along With Ben Folds

If you hadn't already noticed, this blog is named after a lyric from "Working Day," the opening track of the new Ben Folds CD. I just saw that Ben (in full Sing-Off mode) is recording an a cappella version of that song with a small, hand-picked group of singers. And by "hand-picked" I mean concert attendees. And by "small" I mean about 16,000 people. He's recording sections with the audiences at eight different concerts and then he'll edit them all together.

Here's a sample from one of the recording sessions:



This touches on multiple areas of interest for me, so I'm looking forward to hearing the finished product.

Harry Potter and the Start-Up Business

Fred and George Weasley are basically high-school dropouts who didn't get the best grades... but they still turned out to be the sharpest businessmen in the Wizarding world. If you want to know the secret to their success, check out The Marketing Wisdom of Fred and George Weasley.

Don't Forget the Fear Mongering

I've noticed there's something that seems to be missing from the national discussion of violent rhetoric. The focus seems to be on the violent imagery as typified in Palin placing bulls-eyes over candidates districts or Angle saying the people may need "second amendment remedies." But the violent imagery is only half of the problem. The other key element is the turning your political opponent into a threat. The violent imagery is dangerous because it is taking place in an environment where the audience has been told that Candidate X is coming to get them and that they need to be stopped. It's a two-part strategy--first you define the problem (the president is a foreign-born friend of terrorists who has illegally overthrown the government with the intent of taking away all of our freedoms, forcing his scary religion on us, and make us all communist. Or maybe socialists. Or Nazis. Oh, and he wants to kill your grandma.) Second, once you define the problem, you tell people how to solve the problem: which is increasingly violent rhetoric that we need to get them before they get us.

Fear Mongering + Violent Rhetoric = Not Good

We can't forget the fear mongering component. A lot of defensive people on the right point out that violent words and phrases are everywhere in our language. Yes, they are. However, when we normally talk about "targeting" a district, the phrase doesn't convey any sort of threat because it's in the context of where somebody needs to target their advertising budget. When Sarah Palin says we need to target certain districts, the message is coming from the same person who previously warned the listener that Obama is fishy, that we don't know enough about him, that he pals around with terrorists, that he wants to form death panels. After you've said all of that (to an audience that seems to buy every word of it) it's very dangerous to start drawing bulls-eyes.

I saw somebody on Facebook who was pointing out that the left was hypocritical for saying we need to watch the rhetoric because they used to have "Fuck Bush" bumper stickers. That's not hypocracy. I would welcome and encourage the right to go out and make "Fuck Obama" bumper stickers. The problem isn't about expressing dissent or anger. The problem is that it's escalated to fear mongering.

The defensive people on the right have been quick to point out that you can't tailor your language so that it doesn't get misinterpreted by a mad man. That's absolutely true. It would be impossible to do that and I wouldn't want anybody to try. But the line that should not be crossed is the one that separates trying to get your audience to care about your issues and trying to make your audience afraid that there is an imminent threat against them. When you cross that line, you are chumming shark-infested waters. Some of those madmen are of your own creation.

The Denim Skeleton in My Closet

Confession: I used to think that it was very cool to have the back panel of your jean jackets painted. My conviction was probably influenced by a friend from high school who had the art from U2's War album on the back of their jacket. Nevertheless, I stuck to decorating my jacket with lots of buttons. (It was the 80s. What do you want from me?)

When I was in college, I finally gave into temptation, got some acrylic paints, and started making myself a fashion statement. This was 20 years ago and the jacket is falling apart, but I never did throw it away. So here it is, straight from my closet, the thing that seemed like a really good idea at the time:

In case you're wondering why I went with Sam instead of one of the more important cast members, he's the easiest one to draw. And, as you can see, I'm not a good artist. Even though I chose him for practical reasons, I like that his supporting player status sent the message that my Muppet appreciation ran deep. Maybe that explains why I already have three other puppet-related posts (here,  here, and here) on this blog...

Censoring Mark Twain

So, I guess this is what happens to you when you're in the public domain. An English professor named Alan Gribben is publishing an edition of Mark Twain's The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn under one cover (that's nice) and taking out the period-specific racial terms (that's very not nice.) Read the whole story in this New York Times article.

I'm not a fan of either book (although I like Twain in general), but the notion of whitewashing history like that is just plain yucky. All the arguments against this sort of censorship/bowdlerization are obvious. But I would like to also call attention to the sheer audacity of reworking Twain. How would Alan Gribben feel if somebody came along and changed his words to remove the parts they wish weren't there? Say, that give me a swell idea!

“I found myself thrown out of graduate school at Berkeley not wanting to teach either ‘Huckleberry Finn’ or ‘Tom Sawyer,’” Gribben said. “And I don’t think I’m alone.”

“I’m sanitizing Mark Twain--the sharp social critiques, the humor. I'm just obsessing about this one word," Mr. Gibbon said, "and I won't let the stories stand alone.”

This is fun! I take it back, Alan Gribben--you're really onto something with this whole putting-words-in-other-people's-mouths thing. By the way, you can't do a damn thing about this. Just like Mark Twain is defenseless against you in the public domain, you are defenseless against my re-writes thanks to a little help from my friends "fair use" and "parody." Now, if only I could figure out a way to profit off of this like you and your publisher are...

Proving Once Again That Science Rocks

File this under "M" for "mind-blowing":

Bizarre Rainy-Day Recesss Movies

When I was in grade school, they would sometimes show short movies during recess if it was raining outside. This was back in the 70s, so our movies were shown on a real film projector. This used to be my favorite part of school--not watching the movies, but running the projector. I was the kid in class who was good at threading the projector. If you've never done it yourself, it was a great activity for a kid. It was like solving a hands on maze.

We didn't have many options, as I recall. I think we watched The Red Balloon a lot. (I think they were trying to teach us that foreign films are boring.) We also had something called Winter of the Witch. The one unforgettable element of this short was that the witch made magic pancakes. If you eat them, they make you happy. One character asks, "What did you put in them?" Acid, apparently, because every time somebody eats one, they hallucinate pretty, trippy colors.



Looking back, I have to wonder it some of my grade school teachers -- to borrow a phrase from Bill Clinton -- inhaled. Of course they weren't the ones who made the film, so it's unfair to suggest that. But, on the other hand, they must have been high to think it was good to show us the short film called All the Troubles of the World. It's based on a short story by Isaac Asimov, so they must have felt that gave it educational merit. But their judgment was questionable at best. I think it's probably a great read for a seventh- or eighth-grader, but for forth-graders it was just disturbing. It's a bit of a dystopian nightmare. Spoiler alert: It's set in a future where everybody depends way too much on a central computer called Multivac. As Multivac is given more responsibilities, it becomes sentient and suicidal. The classroom film version ends with the computer repeating "I want to die" over and over and over and over. Then it shuts down. That's super-creepy when you're a kid who really wanted to be outside playing kick ball.



Did that freak you the hell out, too? Maybe you should try having an extra helping of magic happy pancakes! You can watch the whole Winter of the Witch short here. (Warning: May induce flashbacks.)