Casting Ready Player One

I just finished Ready Player One. Since the movie rights have already been sold, I thought I'd take a crack at casting it.

Parzival, Art3mis, Aech, Diato, Shoto: Go watch Ratatouille and pay close attention to Patton Oswalt's performance as Remy. Listen to him when talks about food. Hear how much joy and excitement it brings him, how much he wants to share his excitement with the world. Patton (and everybody at Pixar) absolutely nailed what it means to be a geek. That's what a Ready Player One movie needs: 5 young Patton Oswalts. Each of the main gunters needs to be able to convey the knowledge, passion, and dedication that makes somebody a geek.

That being said... I know this is getting off to a bad start, but I honestly have no idea of who to cast the main heroes since they're all supposed to be so young and I just can't think of the right teenaged actors for these parts. (I have faith, however, that you'll be able to help me in the comments section.) There is one young gunter who I have plenty of ideas about...

I-r0k: He's a total poser, so even though he's in high school he'd want his avatar to look stronger, older, more attractive, and cooler than he is in real life. One way to go would be to cast an actor in their 20s who's all of the things i-r0k would want to pretend he is. The very funny Donald Glover springs to mind. But to really establish i-r0k as a poser, I like the idea that he'd make his avatar look like a classic movie star (a contemporary star from our perspective.) i-r0k would want to see himself as somebody like Keanu Reeves or Will Smith. I can easily imagine Parzival and Aech calling him on it, too. ("Who died and made you Neo?") Since the humor would come from the disparity of the famous, action movie veteran getting trash talked and acting like an insecure kid, my final answer is Dwayne Johnson. I know that turns the name "i-r0k" into a terrible joke, but I swear I didn't mean it. I just like him because he's a great comic actor and his massive size would really solidify the character's poser status.

James Halliday: He's lonely, obsessed, sad, world weary, brilliant, and crazy. My first thought was Matt Frewer. He might read a little too old if you want to hold onto 40 as Halliday's base age. Robert Downey Jr. is another good pick, but Wil Wheaton already called dibs on the part, and we have to play by the rules. Sorry Robert. Wil Wheaton is Halliday.

Nolan Sorrento: This needs to be somebody who can be as good as Tilda Swinton was in Michael Clayton. (Her performance in the negotiation scene... holy crap was that good.) On the one hand, Sam Rockwell is perfect for the part. But after Iron Man 2 (it was okay) and Charlie's Angels (ugh) does Sam really want to play this kind of schmucky/evil character again? I thought about Nathan Fillion and Billy Crudup... but I finally landed on William H. Macy. The idea of him playing the, um... transformed version of Sorrento is just funny to me.

Acererak: This is a special effects driven character, so first let's talk about the voice actor. When I played D&D as a kid, I imagined everybody having a British accent. It just felt more regal and medieval that way. There's a lot of great options, but the two actors that leap to mind are Jonathan Pryce and Tim Curry. They've got the vocal chops and, as a bonus, they've got geek cred that would impress the hell out of the gunters (Rocky Horror Picture Show, Legend, Something Wicked This Way Comes, Brazil...) It's close, but I'm going with Jonathan Pryce. Now, about the visuals. Most of the book takes place in a CGI world, but in the spirit of the 80s, I think this creature should be done the old fashioned way--with a life size puppet. Therefore, this one has to go to Brian Henson. I'm a puppet geek, so I could have tried to impress you with other people who's last name isn't Henson... but Brian is the puppeteer behind one of my favorite on screen villains: Audrey II in Little Shop of Horrors.   

The Sixers: Every Sixer in the game has the same avatar. They clearly have to all be played by Nolan North. It's not up for debate.

Ogden Morrow: Unlike Halliday, Ogden let's his true physical age show (which is going to be visually important to show how much time has passed since the 80s), but he still has a playfully energy about him. I'd be surprised if Ernest Cline wasn't visualizing Dr. Meredith in Real Genius when he wrote Ogden's scenes. Personally, I was visualizing Kevin Murphy when I read the book even though he's too young. Anyway, the role calls for somebody with a sparkle in his eye and an anti-authoritarian streak. Martin Mull is a very tempting choice, but I'm going to go with David Ogden Stiers. If you don't recall M*A*S*H as well as I do, you may only remember the gravitas and pompous qualities he gave Charles, but he also fleshed the character out with gleeful, almost boyish notes. If you're not convinced, just forget M*A*S*H and think of his work as Cogsworth in Beauty and the Beast.

Narrator: Yeah, the book doesn't have have an omniscient narrator since it's told from the point of view of its protagonist... but for structural reasons, I keep thinking of the film opening with a modified, almost Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy-esq sequence based on the books "human condition" sequence. So, here's how it adds up: HHG2G + Narration + Atheism = Stephen Fry.

Newscasters: IOI owns a large portion of the media, so the newscasters that pop up throughout the story really have to convey every spooky implication. They're significant in the way the newscasters were in Bob Roberts -- although in this reality, every one of them is like the smiling characters played by Susan Sarandon and James Spader. There aren't going to be any alternative, questioning journalists here. My picks: America Ferrera, James Rebhorn, and Felicia Day.

Max: Matt Frewer! I knew I'd find a part for him!